Midnight Kisses

Congratulations single folks! You’ve almost made it through the holiday season gaunlet!

But like any Herculean feat of strength, the last challenge will be the most difficult.

New Year’s Eve.

(If I had sound effects on the blog that would have sounded similar to this.)

A holiday that by very tradition includes a necessity to be coupled up.  To find that “special someone” to kiss at midnight and start the New Year with. It also includes the tradition of promising that you will commit to a plethora of resolutions and goals that you will most likely  give up on by January 18th or so. (Just ask any of the local gyms.)

But I digress. Back to that whole kiss at midnight thing. Seriously. Don’t you kind of want to find whoever came up with the whole thing and punch them in the face? Over on Kissing Matters, they date the practice back to Ancient Roman times when people would “throw a big party every New Year’s Eve called the Festival of Saturnalia where they would kiss and generally debauch one another as much as possible.”

Yep. Sounds like many of the New Year’s Eve celebrations I’ve been invited to in the past.
Not for me, not this New Year’s Eve. Damn the kiss! Well, ok. If there’s a really cute boy kicking around tomorrow night I wouldn’t be ADVERSE to a kiss. But it would totally be a no-strings-attached kiss. Unless, you know, said unknown cute boy wanted to attach strings.


Do you see how easy it is to fall down the slippery kiss at midnight slope. I blame When Harry Met Sally.

So how do you make it through the Dick Clark countdown and into 2011 without feeling like the sludge on the underside of a slug?  Here are some ideas:

Remember: You are not alone – In Portland alone there will be tens of thousands of single folks ringing in the New Year without their kisses. I know, that sinking feeling at the bottom of your stomach sure FEELS like you are the only one. But I promise, YOU AREN’T! Heck, I’ll be ringing in the New Year’s sans kiss (unless random cute boy…GAH…STOP!!) so you can find some comraderie in that fact alone!

Even a twirly noisemaker doesn't always make being single easier
Photo Credit: Getty Images – Taxi

Spend The Evening With Other Singles – I’ve done the whole “celebrate with friends” thing where I was the only single person in a group of couples.  The awkward 3rd/5th/11th wheel.  Nothing will send you tumbling into the pit of despair referenced above faster than spending the night watching all your coupled up friends be all couple-ly while you are being all “Die alone in your kitchen and be found two weeks later, eaten by neighborhood cats.” Don’t shun your coupled up friends, they’re people too afterall. But don’t make them your ONLY New Year’s Eve companions.

Don’t Drink/Drug/Self-Medicate Yourself Numb – I’m most certainly not one to advocate telling other people how to celebrate in terms of comsumption. In fact, I would be fine if whiskey were added to the FDA’s Food Pyramid, up by the fats to be drank “in moderation.” Yet something about New Year’s Eve screams “Get fall-down drunk and pass out in a closet so you don’t even have to deal with the kiss issue.” I can almost (like 98.7%) guarantee that will not end well.

Don’t Look For The Desperate New Year’s Eve Kiss..Or More – Desperate is the operative word in that sentence. If you find your own unknown random cute boy (or girl) and you’re feeling the kiss vibe, go with it.  But we’ve all been there, longing for some sort of human companionship and a little…you know…when we are feeling at our loneliest. It is encouraged somehow if you decide to go against the “Don’t Go Numb” note above. But let’s consider…do you REALLY want to start 2011 by having to Coyote Ugly your way out of a awkward embrace?

Remember…midnight happens for a mere second. This too shall pass my friends.

How are you spending your single New Year’s Eve?

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