Princess Emerald Cut with Carrots…What?!

Ah, Facebook…we meet again.

While the rest of the city of Portland experienced a record year in terms of temperature (90 degrees by like May 3rd…I’ll take it!) I experienced a new record year.  Aside from gracefully touching down into my third decade here on this fair planet (gifts can be sent to the Portland Press Herald office in small unmarked bills) I also experienced a gold rush that I had not seen since the quarter-life crisis boom of 2004.

In May I had 14…yes 14 friends announce their engagement on Facebook.

I did the good friend thing and dutifully wished them all congratulations on their walls and status updates.  I gushed over rings which are all very pretty and sparkly and whatnot.  I nodded my head and smiled over Skype as they described the carrots (carats? Karats?) and colors and clarity and other stuff which I only know about because of my former life as an insurance producer.

Yet for the month of May there was no avoiding the pairing up that was occurring as the Ark apparently took up residence in Portland Harbor.  It wasn’t just their constant (and well-deserved because they were ALL so frickin’ adorable!) updates and mutual friends’ comments and whatnot.

It was Facebook’s damn social graph that somehow sees me commenting on 14 pages worth of engagements and has now decided that each time I login to the page I should see ads up my sidebar for engagement rings rather than American Apparel tees.

Two women in cafe looking at engagement rings
Photo Credit: Getty Images – Steve Murez

I feel almost bad for Facebook.  Or for society in general.  Does seeing multiple friends getting engaged around the site mean that a person leaving the party-wild days of their twenties for the awesomeness of their thirties MUST be starting to get worried about getting married?  Is there no hope for someone at this ageand some quick marrying must occur.

And most importantly did Facebook miss the memo that I break out in hives before most second dates so engagement ring ads are probably lost on my particular profile page?!

Thank GOD I updated my Visual Bookshelf app to my newest read…now my ads center around writing opportunities, the retreat I’m leading a session at this fall (that you should all check out!) and science fiction conferences.

Does Facebook’s social graph cater to your relationship and dating needs or lump you in with cliched advertising demographics?

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