Sometimes it is something simple like the infamous dance of the toilet seat lid.
Other times it’s something bigger, like smoking or tattoos.
And occasionally it is something completely crazy unjustified, like the fact that not only do you want them to do the dishes but you also want THEM to want to do the dishes.
Regardless, each of us has spent time seeking out our soulmate, only to find that they have some (in our mind) fatal flaw that makes them completely undateable specimens.
We create these impossible dealbreakers.
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I was looking recently at pictures of a college friend’s wedding on Facebook. Tall, blonde, beautiful, skinny, she could have landed any guy on campus. Mutual friends would comment that she was one of those annoying people who somehow managed to look gorgeous even hungover with makeup stains under her eyes at Hannaford.
As is the nature of Facebook, I hadn’t spoken to her in close to 10 years (well, since I was actually IN college) so I had no idea who her husband was. As I opened the photo album expecting to find the perfect Ken doll to her Barbie existence, I was shocked to find a short, chubby, balding guy with dark sunken eyes and a crooked-toothed smile.
I emailed her congratulations, shaking my head in disbelief at the odd coupling I saw on the page and her response to me was:
Thanks!! He’s really amazing!! Makes me laugh, I can talk to him for hours, he takes care of me, loves me and is a good man. I know, I know. He’s nothing like the pretty boys I dated in school. I almost dumped him after our first date together!! But something told me to give it a try. I’m so happy I did!! =)
It was as if happiness and love in the dating world might be based more on who the person is than whether they are too short, too tall, too chubby, too sarcastic, too shy, too agressive, too…too…too. It’s like any adjective that you have to preface with the disclaimer of “too” is already going to be a dealbreaker that is making you miss out on a great person and fabulous opportunity.
What are your dealbreakers? Have you had that gut-check realization far too late that you ruled out someone amazing because of a silly reason?Previous Post - | Next Post -