When Did I Become A Sim?

I’m told that online dating is THE new way to meet people for dating.  In fact, it has grown to quite possibly be the most used industry online, surpassing even porn.  And let’s face it.  Since the internet became more popular in the 90’s porn has been leading the pack in terms of trafficked sites.

As Mashable notes, however, this online dating world seems to be one laced with white lies and truth-bending all directed at making yourself “better” online.  On these sites you have to write your profiles a certain way and choose the statistics that attract.  Apparently men lie most about their age, height and income.  Women choose to lie about their weight, build and age.

Which I find very interesting.

Men lie about details which are pretty unchangeable.  You are your age and height, regardless of how must gingko you take or how long you hang from a door frame to “stretch.”  Women lie about details that CAN be changed but are also painfully obvious in a first meeting.   For women, online dating seems to become all about what you look like and if you are attractive or not.

Girl looking at laughing reflections in the mirror
Photo Credit: Getty Images – WIN Initiative

As I struggled with trying to figure out how to navigate the online dating world I heard again and again the suggestion “Maybe if you just updated your photos.”  It was the number one way to “fix the problem.”  I’m sure that no one who said it meant any harm by it.  Just trying to help.

But on a Friday night when I was in an exceptionally bad mood I checked these sites to see if I had any messages.  Cause when you are in an exceptionally bad mood it’s always a good idea to seek out ways to make yourself angrier.  Course, as I opened each inbox the moths came flying out and essentially b*tch-slapped me with their digital mocking.

After a marathon phone call with my girl friend across the country, I almost had myself convinced that it really was the stupid caliber of the stupid boys on the stupid websites that were the problem.  But the reality is that for many guys really do base a woman’s dating worth on their physical appearance.  And I’ve gotta say, I’m thinking it’s just foolish to try to convince yourself otherwise.

Now now, I know this isn’t ALL guys.  And I have friends that have met online or even *gasp* in person “the old fashioned way,” and they are beautiful in their own way but probably not landing a Ford contract anytime soon.  And it seems that in the online dating world, appearance is the biggest part of it for women.

But when you only have a static bio and bullet points to describe yourself and a couple photos to “sell yourself” the whole dating game becomes a cheap knock-off version of Chutes and Ladders that I’m not sure I like playing.

I do have plans to update my photos, see if that really does make a difference.  Or if online dating is just not going to be a medium that works well for me.  I met a great guy online once before.

And a couple very creepy individuals.

But those are stories for another day.  🙂

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