Can You Hear Me Now?

Everyone has their own little pet peeves on dates.

Maybe he doesn’t hold open the door for you. Maybe he does. Maybe she orders salad and then eats all your fries. Maybe they spend the last dollar they have to their name on a pack of gum.

For some these pet peeves are overwhelming, basically deal breakers in their eyes. For others, they add onto a list of reasons why their date will never make it to “relationship material.” For a few, it’s a little like nails on a chalkboard but still tolerable if there are enough “redeeming qualities” to eke out a win.

My pet peeve on dates (or any social situation really) is cell phones.

Yes, I understand that I am dating and living and breathing in 2010, but it’s still something that’s a MASSIVE pet peeve of mine. If we are dating (especially if we are still newly dating) and trying to get to know each other better why on EARTH would you continuously be playing on your phone and distracting both of us from the conversation. I know…I know…you have an iPhone/Droid/Flip Phone From 2003 That You Just Figured Out Has Snake and it’s super cool and you’re not really sure about me so why blow off your friends who are a sure bet.

Call me crazy, but there’s NOTHING sexier than a man who spends the entire night snuggled with me on a couch in a restaurant and doesn’t ONCE check his phone.

No cell phones on dates!
Photo Credit: Getty Images – Bill Sykes Images

I remember once, at least five years ago, being out to dinner with a friend when my phone started ringing. I glanced quickly at the screen to see who it was and immediately silenced it.

“Do you do that with me?” he asked, his lip almost quivering.

“Do what?” I replied, a little confused what he was talking about.

“Do you silence me when I call? Is that why I’ve had to leave you four voicemails this week?”

I took a deep breath and mentally talked myself off my Ledge of Irk which unleashes like a fury when not kept in check. “No, I don’t automatically silence your calls. However, if I’m out to dinner with a friend and trying to give THEM my attention, then yes, I send you to voicemail. If you ever need me and it’s urgent, call back.”

The next forty-five seconds of silence was palpable and I pushed a french fry around my plate. Finally he muttered something about thanks or that making sense or something basically stating “I’m kind of a schmuck, sorry about that.”

It was about that time I decided to really jump into the smart-phone revolution and download ring tones. Yep, I am that annoying person with a bajillion ring tones in their phone. I’m like a little 25 second turn table really.

But there’s a method to my madness, I promise!

I have ring tones for different friends and family members and groups of friends (yes, my little group of guy friends totally has Bryan Adams, which I’m sure they will feel is an upgrade from “Guy Love” from Scrubs which seriously is a much more appropriate song but doesn’t ring loud enough!) That way without ever having to pull out my phone or run into the other room I can hear who is calling.

And yes, ignore the call if I’m out with people.

I have one promise in my ring tone obsession though.  I will never download anything by Colbie Caillat for the guy I’m dating. I actually rather like some of her music but if I hear one more girl with the song “Bubbly” for their adorable boy-toy when he calls I will most likely pitch myself off the Casco Bay Bridge. Or at least drown my pain in some Casco Bay Riptide.

Do you take calls and return texts when you are out on dates? Or are you a strict focus my attention elsewhere dater?

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