Being More “Girl-Like”

About two weeks into my foray in online dating, the well was still running pretty dry.  I had emailed out notes, I had winked, I had poked, I had Quivered, I had done as much as I could to put myself out there and was STILL having zero response.

So I did what any red-blooded young woman would do.  I sent an email to my friend whining that I was going to die a crazy-cat-lady-except-I-don’t-own-cats-oh-dear-god-I’m-really-pathetic.

You think I’m kidding.

Ever pragmatic, she called me later that night, furious that I would even consider buying a kitten so I would at least be a bit more socially adaptable in my role as spinster.  And she decided that we needed to “girl up” my profile.

See, as I’ve mentioned before, I’m not really all that “good” at the girl thing.  In fact, quick side story.  Once, when I was standing in a room with a group of guys, we were looking at some paint samples trying to figure out what color to put on the wall.  One of them turned to look at me, and uttered what has become a hilarious phrase for me.  “Elisa, since you are the closest thing we have to a girl, what do you think.”

Yeah, I’m cool.

We analyzed my current profile write-up and found that maybe, just maybe, it was written more as a girl who hangs out with boys, not a girl who dates boys.  And let’s be real, while I love (LOVE) my guy friends, I’m trying to date boys now.  Before you ask, no, that would not involve thus dating my guy friends (I know too much about the skeletons in their closets, and vice versa!)

Here’s the original post:

I’m a fun, goofy, laid back girl who is at her best sipping a Shipyard with friends watching the Sox game or curled up with a book on the couch listening to jazz.  I’m frequently “accused” of being a work-a-holic and temper that time with hikes and spontaneous road trips to keep myself grounded.  I really do believe every problem in the world can be solved with a game of rock, paper, scissors.

I’m looking for someone who can go from an afternoon of hiking to a business event to hanging out in pj’s watching movies under the covers in one weekend.  Words hard at whatever you do whether it be your career, a hardcore Scattergories game, or Sunday night dinner consisting of pizza and a six-pack.  Intellect is a huge turn-on, and discussions of politics, the newest book you read, current events and artsy stuff over weekend coffee will be a frequent occurrence.  Finds my “couch coaching” of any televised sporting event endearing and will chime in with an analysis of a bad offsides call or ball vs. strike pitch.  A somewhat dorky side to match mine, who enjoys th History or Discovery Channel, would be a good deal, too.

Just one of the boys
Photo Credit: Getty Images – Comstock

To confirm my deepest suspicion, I sent this along to about 10 guy and girl friends to ask their opinions.  Resoundingly the responses came back, “Yep, you’re putting yourself in the friend zone.”  So I asked instead, “What can I do to make my profile more girly?”

After some back and forth with a few loyal friends, I ended up editing and posting a new profile.  Same stuff, a little more girly in speak.

The Updated Profile:

I’m a fun, laid back brunette who enjoys a great glass of wine, heading out on the town for dinner, sipping Shipyard at Sox games with friends, or curling up with a book on the couch.  I spend my downtime doing yoga, going for a run along the Boulevard or taking spontaneous road trips to keep myself grounded.  And when I’m super tired I’ll fall asleep standing up or giggle like a giddy girl with my head on your shoulder

I really do believe every problem in the world can be solved with a game of rock, paper, scissors.

I’m looking for someone who can go from an afternoon of hiking to a business event to watching movies under the covers in one weekend.  Works hard at whatever you do whether it be your career, a Scattergories game, or Sunday night dinner consisting of pizza and a six-pack. Intellect is a huge turn-on.  Most importantly, you’ll find my slight dorkiness adorable, and dare I say pretty darn hot.

So, what do you think?  Is my new profile setting me up more in the datable-zone, or am I still “just friends?”

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